


The Bridge Crew Boys

by IntoTheDarknessBones (AndrewGarfieldIsGod)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crack, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 13:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrewGarfieldIsGod/pseuds/IntoTheDarknessBones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The men of the Enterprise form a secret boyband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bridge Crew Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Star Trek, the people, places, or items involved therein. All rights reserved by the estate of Gene Roddenberry.
> 
> I do not own the Backstreet Boys or their music. Believe me, teenage girls from the 90s would have killed me if i did.

"Dammit, Jim, I told ya there's no gettin' out of your yearly physical. I don't care how much you don't like MedBay; as CMO, I'm duty bound to keep you healthy and alive, despite how hard you try to accomplish just the oppo-" Bones stopped mid-sentence as the door to Jim's quarters opened, revealing a lack of the Captain within.

"Jim, are ya in here?" Bones inquired, looking around the room and seeing no signs that the captain had been here since his shift. Bones had just gotten off of his own shift, and he had come to drag the Captain back to MedBay to ensure that he was in perfect health, after Jim skipped his scheduled appointment today.

This wasn't the first time Jim had been inexplicably absent, but it was the first time Bones had given it a bit of thought. He needed to examine Jim; who knows what he could be up to now?

"Hmm", Bones muttered to himself, resolving to find the captain by any means necessary. "Computer, locate Captain James T. Kirk."

"Access denied. Priority override level Alpha needed for access," the kind, mechanical female voice told him.

Bones pondered this for a minute before speaking aloud once more. "Computer, locate Commander Spock."

"Access denied. Priority override level Alpha needed for access," the voice repeated.

Bones soon found that Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov were also unable to be located. This was highly unusual, but it had Jim's own clearance stamp on it, so Bones wasn't too worried. But damn if he wasn't curious. So he set out to try to find the men, wherever they may be.

* * *

They weren't in the mess, but Ensign Arp from Engineering said she'd spotted Lt. Cmdr. Scott headed towards the botany lab. The botanists suggested that they'd seen Scotty and Sulu headed towards the bridge. And so it went. For more than half an hour, Bones was running around the ship trying to find these men and sate his curiosity.

He ran into Nyota, who, when asked if she knew anything about where the men where, went quiet, a rare occurrence for the linguistics expert. "Um..."

"Nyota, I know you know where they're at, so tell me." Bones gently demanded.

"Well, Len, nobody should miss it, so you just have to go to Holodeck One." Nyota said, grinning, clearly pleased with whatever she'd just revealed. Truth is, she’d known Scotty was hiding something from her, and she’d threatened to withhold sex if he didn’t tell her. He folded very quickly, she recalled.

“Thanks.” Bones said, after Nyota told him the passcode, dashing off towards the holodecks.

* * *

Once he arrived outside Holodeck One, he could hear the faint sound of music coming from within. He entered the passcode and the door slid open, and Bones was shocked at what he saw: the men of the Enterprise bridge crew, dressed in baggy white t-shirts, pants, and white button-down overshirts, singing to a holo-crowd of what Bones assumed was supposed to be adoring fans.

Jim, obviously the leader of the group, was crooning some lyric about fire and desire, and Bones was sure that after his initial shock at seeing Bones at the door, Jim recovered extremely well.

_“You are my fire. The one desire. Believe me when I say. I want it that way.”_

After the song was done, the boys agreed to take a break for a bit, mainly because Jim wanted to talk with Bones about...things.

“Hey, Bones. Fancy seeing you here!” Jim said with a huge grin, coming over to punch Bones on the shoulder.

“You missed your appointment today, kid.” Bones replied, somewhat unable to comprehend that his best friend was the leader of a secret boyband aboard the Enterprise.

“Seriously, Bones, that’s what you got? I missed my appointment?” Kirk scoffed, wondering what Bones was thinking.

“Well, kid, what should I say? I’ve never been one for boybands, you know that. But I guess you guys ain’t bad.” Bones mumbled the last part, but Jim was fluent in Bones-ese, and he roared to the other guys “He loves it! The Bridge Crew Boys have got that ‘it’ factor!” Quieting down, he asked Bones, “How’d you find us? Let me guess, Nyota?”

“Got it in one, kid.” Bones grumbled as Spock glared at Scotty. Well, that’s what Bones thought the look that passes between them was

“I could nae control her. She tried ta wit’old sex. I may be an engineer, but I cannae go without the touch of a beautiful woman, not when she’s in arm’s reach.” Scotty protested.

“So, why are you guys a boyband anyway?” Bones asked, puzzled.

“It was ze keptin’s idea.” Chekov stated, Sulu nodding beside him. “Yeah, Pasha thought it was a great idea, so I tagged along too.”

“I’ve always had a wonderful voice, ever since I were a wee lad, Len. The cap’n thought that I could be a useful addition to the group.” Scotty offered.

“And Spock, why did you join the captain’s boyband?” Bones inquired, dying to know the answer.

"I believe the human expression, though dated, is YOLO?" Spock replied, with a straight face that was just not possible given the hilarity of the statement he had just spoken, which left everyone else doubled over laughing. “It was a word I found most associated with early 21st century music, but it appealed to me.”

“Yeah, Bones, we’re a heck of a group. Just sit there and watch us finish performing.” Jim said, guiding Bones over to a chair on the edge of the room before he returned to the center of the room and began singing a new song, faster and more upbeat than the last, seemingly telling the tale of the perks and downsides to being famous.   
  
Bones wondered who wrote the songs, as they were both catchy and lyrically genius. Later he’d find out that Jim and Spock equally wrote them, much as that surprised the shit out of him, but once he realized the circumstances behind the songs, he wasn’t surprised at all.

_“I may run and hide. When you're screamin' my name, alright. But let me tell you now. There are prices to fame, alright. All of our time spent in flashes of light.”_

* * *

In the weeks that followed, Bones was often privy to the performances of Enterprise’s first boyband, “The Bridge Crew Boys.” He couldn’t explain what it was that caused him to sit and listen to them whenever they all had time, but listen he did. And slowly, an idea began to creep into his mind. If he, a grumpy Southern Earth doctor loved them, who else might love The Bridge Crew Boys?

So, he told the guys of his plan and they, after some slight hesitation on Spock’s (“What does this have to do with our mission?”), and Jim’s (“But, Bones, come on, we’re just a few guys who sing.”) parts, they all agreed.

And that was how the demo album of The Bridge Crew Boys came about, featuring three songs that the boys had written newly for the demo album. The first was entitled “The Call”, and it told the tale of a young man slowly slipping into despair. Spock, oddly enough, took the lead on the vocals on this song, backed up primarily by Jim, and Spock’s rich baritone voice told the story in such a haunting fashion.

_“Let me tell you the story about the call that changed my destiny. Now me and my boys went out just to end up in mystery. I was about to go home and there she was standing in front of me. Instead I, I got a little place nearby, I wanna go.”_

The second was Bones’ favorite song that he’d ever heard from the group, which was saying at least something, and he got chills when Jim’s tenor voice started up with the lyrics on a song called “Climbing the Walls”, about a love so great that even after it could end, it deeply affects the two lovers involved. Jim and Spock seemed to be unable to keep their eyes off each other while singing, and Bones was so happy for Jim. He’d suspected, but...

_“No, I can't let you go, you're a part of me now. Caught by the taste of your kiss. And I don't wanna know the reason why I. Can't stay forever like this. Now I'm climbing the walls 'cause I miss you.”_

The third and final song was actually written by Pavel, who unsurprisingly enough had a voice like an angel, and whom Jim had agreed to let take the lead on the song, entitled Quit Playing Games (With My Heart). Pavel, and by extension Sulu, whose harmonies with his boyfriend added so much character to the song, expressed themselves deeply while singing. You could see the love and devotion there as The Bridge Crew Boys backed up Pavel in the song, about confronting the one you love when they may not love you like you deserve.

_“I live my life the way. To keep you comin' back to me. Everything I do is for you. So what is it that you can't see? Sometimes I wish I could. Turn back time. Impossible as it may seem. But I wish I could so bad, baby.”_

After they recorded the songs, Bones took a picture of them together in what he called their “boyband garb”: the white baggy shirts, pants, and t-shirts they were wearing that first day and made it into the album cover, which he then put on the album before sending it to Earth’s megacorporation record companies.

Nobody ever expected anything to come of it, so when Bones got a response a week later on his PADD from IPR, Inc. he thought it was just a ‘thanks, but no thanks’ message. But he thought, it was only kind to open it up and read it, so that he could respond politely enough, like his mama taught him.

When he opened it up and read the message, his PADD fell from his hand in shock. “DAMMIT, JIM!!!”


End file.
